Consistency vs. Needy

Nobody wants to be in a relationship with someone that is needy. My good friend told me "there is nothing sexier than knowing someone wants you, but doesn't need you". So a guy who does not want to come across as needy tells himself to play it cool. Be independent and somewhat detached so that she knows you don't need her. A lot of girls are attracted to this confidence and feel comfortable around confident guys.

In order for a girl to fall in love with a guy, she needs to trust him, and in order to trust him he needs to show her he is consistent. Consistency fosters trust which fosters love. Girls don't want to get hurt and so they test guys to make sure he is consistent.

The balance of being consistent and not needy is difficult to maintain. To further complicate the situation as a girl starts falling for a guy she will get scared and close off.

...when there are feelings, when there’s chemistry, many times that is scary and she closes up even more. But really, deep down, I believe that she is waiting for the right man to see her, let her test him and to remain solid. -- Mastin (thedailylove.com)

Most guys will read her closing off as her not being interested and stop pursuing. The girl then assumes he is not consistent and puts him the player bucket and moves on. However, if the girl is pulling away because she really is not interested and he continues to be consistent he will be put in the creepy and needy bucket and she will lose interest.

So how does a guy be consistent and pass the test, while not being needy and not pursuing a girl that is not interested? That is the question!